let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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