is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
