hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
