Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
