She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
