I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
