I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
