I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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