saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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