dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
