Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize