So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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