nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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