STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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