Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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