she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
