Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
