Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
