Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
