i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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