So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
how drunk are you?
Several
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
