There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
where am i from again
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
