Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize