im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My life is pants optional.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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