does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
