i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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