OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
