I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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