you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
