If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize