It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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