Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
