He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
