No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
