i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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