You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Its about making memories worth repressing
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
