Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
