is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
