Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
