They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
