found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
