in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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