Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
