Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
