Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
