How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
