I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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