If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
