Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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