Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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