i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There r osticjed everywhere
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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