I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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