watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize