my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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