so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
