Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
