he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
