At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize