one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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