just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
