I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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