you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize