sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
