Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
