So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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