Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need a beard to bite.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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