I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
