I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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