And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
