So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
