and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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